i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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