I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
