i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
one might say we're banned from that church
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
