and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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