i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
