No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Dicks are not precious.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
