I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
