Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
