What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
