But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
