Just fell off a train. Bad.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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