I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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