I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
