"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
