I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
