unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
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I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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