He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
