So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
