It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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