3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
