Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
