he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
