Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
