I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
