I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
