She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
