Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
