i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
