we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
