you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
