Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
