I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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