drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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