I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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