My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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