I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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