Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
