Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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