U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
