I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize