yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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