I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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