I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
