do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
