I never want to see another naked old woman again.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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