Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
