How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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