Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
