My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
