Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
