you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize