Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
