i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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