Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Pants are for mortals
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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