i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
