You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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