I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
someone owes me an orgasm
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
