Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
