I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Dignity is for republicans.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
