his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
