I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
