I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
