I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
